i don't remember when i stopped making tea in the evenings. i needed it in those "early" days. i put "early" in "" because i don't want to get cocky. it's currently 108 days and while it seems like a lot right now, i know it's a drop in a bucket. in those early "holding on by my fingernails" days, 100 days seemed huge! like once i got there, i'd be okay. i am okay, i am "better", whatever that means.
i stopped making tea. i used to make it every night...to convince myself that i was preparing for sleep, that i was winding down instead of a bottle of wine, it was a mug of tea. oh, the tea. so much tea! a shelf full of teas.
sleepy time tea, night time tea, chamomile, vanilla, lavender. instead of a mug of wine, it was a mug of tea. i preferred a mug or tumbler of wine because it was more steady than a wine glass. how many times did i spill wine on my couch? when did i stop using a wine glass and switch to a mug? it had been years.
where am i going with this? oh. tea. winding down. i'm reaching for books and sashiko in the evenings while catching up on DVRd shows.