Sunday, September 30, 2007


i'm not a fan of them. i'm strongly opposed to any injustice of any kind. when any kind of injustice happens to me or my family, friends, adopted sisters--my blood boils. i feel my arms and legs getting warm and tingly (and not in the "gotta get laid soon" way). i hear a rush. peripheral sounds (conversation, the din of a restaurant, birds chirping, tv in the background) blur. i know what's happening to me and i try to control it. past experience has taught me that i know it has to be controlled rather than being released. i don't (rather, can't for fear of not controlling it) say anything regarding said injustice for a few hours or days, until the emotion has subsided to something less than rage, until i can hear the birds chirping again without being drowned out by the sound of my own feathers raising, preparing to attack. it's not good, this feeling. letting it go too far has its repercussions. keeping the level of emotion that high is exhausting. i have so often been accused of letting too many things go. "how can you be so mellow at a time like this? why aren't you more angry?" it's for my own good, and the good of all humanity. i have saved lives this way.

i have an angry side. few people know this fact, fewer people have seen it. words i don't even know exist pour from my mouth like a symphony of fire. sometimes i get on my tiptoes. my finger waves from clenched fist like a gnarled wand in a witch's hand. my jugular veins pound with blood, my neck threatening to explode, taking my head with it; my mouth still spewing what i believe is right while sitting neckless on the ground.

coming down from my crimson perch of rage is like waking up after crying yourself to sleep. it's an exhausted hiccoughy feeling. the kind that needs a nap and a grilled cheese sandwich, a blankie and a story.

see? wow. like this post. i was full of injustices to rant about. what happened? i got lost in the words. this was only a preface.

life, it moves on. oooo.... something shiny.


  1. "coming down from my crimson perch of rage" - god, that was a beautiful sentence, I think I love you and the way you use your words.

  2. i am soo pleased you enjoy my choice of words =)